A Miscalculation in Time
by silverfoxxy
Summary: Ron Weasley turns to Moaning Myrtle for help attracting Hermione Granger. Of course all help comes with a price... Ron/Hermione, Ron/Myrtle, Ron/Harry


A Miscalculation in Time

"I have a date with the Giant Squid tonight." Hermione said.

"What?" Harry asked, staring up at her from his History of Magic text. Hermione laughed.

"Honestly Harry, I wish you would pay more attention to your studies. You're practically falling asleep." Hermione smiled as she nudged Harry's knee with her quill. Harry groaned.

"You too, Ron," Hermione added, but she was still looking at Harry. She then peeked over to see how much work Harry had completed. Ron's blue eyes glittered.

"I have to go." Ron snatched his books and stormed out of the dormitory.

Ron pushed open the heavy wooden door, threw his books down and walked over to the sink. He stared into the mirror.

"Why?" he whispered, taking in his gangling frame, copper hair, freckles and blue eyes, surrounded by fair lashes. Was he that unattractive?

"You haven't come to see me for an awful long time." A thin voice whispered in his ear. Ron jumped.

"I had to go somewhere they wouldn't find me," he said.

"I thought as much." Moaning Myrtle harrumphed. "Who would ever come to see fat ugly moaning moping miserable me?"

"It's not that at all!" Ron snapped. "Why do you always say that? You aren't ugly!" Myrtle stopped, mid cry.

"You….don't think I'm ugly."

"No," Ron said. "I don't."

Myrtle sniffed. "I see." There was a pause. "So who are you running away from? Are they making fun of you?"

"No," Ron said, realizing for the first time that his problems weren't as bad as all that. "It's Harry and Hermione actually."

"Harry and Hermione?" Myrtle gasped. "Not best friends anymore?"

"It's not that either, I don't know," Ron said, "It's stupid really, but I just can't help it."

"Tell me," Myrtle whispered seductively, her voice turning into a ghostly whisper.

"Hermione likes Harry." Ron said dryly.

"Oh," Myrtle said, "Are they going steady then?"

"No," Ron said, "I can tell she likes him though. Harry always has to have everything!" Ron exclaimed, and then looked a bit abashed.

"I like Harry," Myrtle said, "What girl wouldn't?"

"Not helping," said Ron. He was beginning to think this was a bad idea. He should just leave. Harry and Hermione probably weren't looking for him anyway.

"I don't just help people," Myrtle laughed. "Where's the fun in that?"

"What are you even talking about?" Ron snapped.

"I could tell you how to make her like _you_," Myrtle whispered. "I've spent my time as a ghost gathering spells I should have used in my lifetime."

"That's lovely," Ron said, giving Myrtle a look. Then a moment later, "What- what kind of things are you talking about here?" Myrtle gave him a smile.

"A spell," she whispered, "The perfect spell."

Ron shook his head. "No, I can't." He told Myrtle. "I couldn't put a spell on Hermione. If she loved me, and I knew it wasn't real-if I knew she really loved Harry-I couldn't take it." Myrtle shrugged.

"Does Harry like Hermione?" Myrtle asked.

"I don't know," Ron sighed.

"You don't know?" Myrtle asked.

"Well, not really, I know he likes her as a friend," Ron said, frowning.

"So what's the problem?" Myrtle asked. "You love Hermione, she loves Harry."

"Yes that is the problem," Ron said.

"Do you know what I think? I think Harry likes you." Myrtle said. She was hovering in front of him, two dark braids, and giant black glasses.

Ron blushed. "He does not!"

Myrtle batted her eyelashes. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," Ron said.

"So if he snogged you tomorrow, you'd be completely surprised."

"Yes!"

"And would you snog him back?"

"I don't know!" Ron exclaimed. "Can we stop talking about this? It's weird!"

"So you would snog him back?" Myrtle said, raising a translucent eyebrow.

"No-I wouldn't!" Ron exclaimed. "I'm not into blokes!"

"So you'd just leave him there?" Myrtle said. Ron sighed.

"No. I'd want to be a friend, but-I don't know," he finished. "I really don't think that will ever happen. Harry doesn't fancy me. Or any blokes either. Nor do I." Myrtle raised an eyebrow.

"And does Hermione fancy-" Ron was already out the door.

Ron drew the tap closed. It was a lovely day in the prefect's bathroom. The tub was lovely and filled with bubbles, and the water was very hot and silky. Ron has just started to relax when he looked over at one of the taps. There was something sliding out of it. Ron wrinkled his forehead. Hadn't he just turned off the taps? When suddenly-

"Moaning Myrtle?" Ron shrieked, quickly making sure he was covered by bubbles. "What the bloody hell are you doing in here?"

"I just came to check on you Ronald," she purred, in her ghostly voice. Ron was blushing feverishly. She couldn't just-what was she playing at-ghosts just weren't allowed to just come and surprise people in the bath!

"Sorry to surprise you." Myrtle giggled, "But don't be shy, I've seen it all before." Ron glared at her. If only he could stop blushing. She couldn't be serious could she? She hadn't been spying on him-she wasn't like that-was she?

"I was wondering how it is between Harry and Hermione."

"The same," Ron grumbled. "I just can't stand it, she's always looking at him. And no, I don't want your spell." Myrtle shrugged.

"Well if you want, you can have something better." Myrtle said.

"What?" Ron snapped, frantically arranging bubbles.

"I hear the ball is coming up." Ron gave a noise of displeasure. "And, I'm sure you don't want Harry and Hermione going together. What if I found another date for Harry, and you could ask Hermione? Then you would have the whole ball to charm her, and make her fall in love with you instead. Without magic." Ron's expression softened.

"Could you do that?" He breathed.

"For a price." Myrtle whispered. Ron gritted his teeth.

"What?" Ron was appalled to see an evil look on the ghost's face.

"A kiss." Myrtle whispered.

Ron raised an eyebrow. "You're a ghost." He said. "But if that's what you want, fine." He pushed his lips together.

"Oh, you won't be kissing me like this." Myrtle laughed. "You'll be kissing Harry."

"What? No!" Ron yelled. "Sorry, no. I'm not doing it. It would ruin our whole friendship!"

"Let me finish." Myrtle said. "You won't really be kissing Harry. You'll be kissing me, but I'll look just like him. It's a very special spell." Ron just stared at her.

"You know spells like that? Do you do them?"

"From time to time," Myrtle shrugged. Ron's eyes popped out.

"Are you saying, that when I see some random person at school, it- it could be you."

"Yes." Myrtle said with a grin. "Being dead's loads better than being alive. I just get so awfully lonely."

"I see." Ron said, "Well, I suppose I'll get this over with. I really need this chance with Hermione, and I'll know it's really you, so it won't be like kissing Harry." Myrtle smiled. I'll see you in your charms classroom at midnight then." She said, laughing and swooping towards the tap. Ron waited for her to go in. She didn't.

"Well," He said.

"Well what?"

"See you tonight? Bye? I'd really like to be able to w-"

"Wank?"

"Wash!" Ron exclaimed, red as a tomato. "You know myself? Like what baths are for? Will you leave, please! –er, thanks for helping me out." He added. Myrtle slid up the tap a knowing expression on her face.

Ron looked at the clock. It was exactly midnight. Ron slumped against Professor Flitwick's desk. Was this really a good idea. Maybe he should just call it off. But Hermione! Images of her luscious brown hair, soft chocolate eyes, and lovely mouth flashed through his mind. If he could just have a chance with her…

He looked up to see Harry standing there, in the doorway. Ron froze.

"Harry?" He whispered. Harry walked over to him. Ron's cheeks were already blazing.

"Ron," Harry said, walking over. "Great practice today." Ron twitched. He could have sworn it was really Harry for a moment.

"Could you not say things like that please?" Ron said, running a hand through his hair. "Sorry." Harry shrugged. "I didn't meaning anything by it. You shouldn't listen to the Slytherins. You're a good player."

"Stop it!" Yelled Ron. "Just kiss me all right!" And he reached over to press his lips against Harry's. His mouth moved against his friends, he let his tongue slide inside. Harry smelled just like apples and Quidditch grass. Ron had to keep reminding himself who it really was. He should have never agreed to this. Harry kissed him back, accidentally biting him a little. Ron laughed internally; he doubted he was any better. Harry had only kissed Cho before…Ron's hand was digging into Harry's shoulder, as he put every inch of hatred and jealousy and love he had for his friend into the one kiss. Finally he pulled back. They were both breathless.

"Okay." Ron said. "I did it. Can you please just leave me alone now?"

"Okay." Harry said a bit quizzically, and left. Ron closed his eyes. What had he done? Ron looked at the clock again. It was six past _eleven_.

The End


End file.
